On the way home tonight I was listening to Your Time With Kim, which is an adult contemporary crap radio show hosted by Austin local and cat person Kim Iverson. I actually listen to this quite a bit. She talks a lot about relationships and men and how they don’t like her and plays a lot of P!nk to fill time when she runs out of stuff to say.

Tonight she talked about Ashley Madison, an online dating thing where unhappy, married or “attached” people can go meet and fuck other unhappy people, their slogan being, “Life is short. Have an affair”. That’s trademarked, by the way, so you can’t use it. It was started like nine years ago but, you know, whatever. I’ll just post date this or something. Any way, according to Kim, the days after Mother’s Day and Valentine’s are the biggest enrollment days for Ashley Madison and this year it signed up 30,000 of your moms, wives and GFs due to a disappointing Mothers Day haul. So if you didn’t deliver on that San Diego get away or the 1-800 Flowers “Dazzle Her Day” bouquet chances are your significant other is cyber-boinking some dude right now, plainly out of contempt for you. According to Kim, If you’re not even paying enough attention to your woman to catch her non-verbal, non-visual ques as to what you should have prepared for this particular special day then you damn deserve to be cast aside! (By the way, “Dazzle her day”, also trademarked. Can’t use that either.)

So shit gentlemen!  I take Kim Iverson seriously and you should too! What could we have been thinking, that simply loving and cherishing until the day we die would cut it? Take it from the expert, and by expert I mean Kim Iverson. Step it up.

Oh yeah, one more thing, this “premier dating service” was on the Tyra Banks Show too. It featured Ashley Madison owner Noel Biderman trying to convince everyone that he isn’t an asshole.